Couldn't help but hold back tears as my mom told me that she still mentioned me regardless of doctors saying she's no longer sane, a few days ago. Mom, through audio teleconferencing said she asked if I was coming home anytime soon but mom told her that I can no longer fly. She kept quiet.
Should I take the risk to go home and visit my sick grandmother who is at her critical stage right now and so am I, in a different stage totally?
When dad informed those of us who are out country that Nini was getting from bad to worse, the first thing came to mind was should I go see her or should I not. Yet, after getting advice from the wise, they recommended that I should not. How can you calm a rumbling heart?? It just keeps bothering me. Unless I am not close to my grandmother, I won't feel that bad but she is partly why I am here today. Her unpertubed attitude, even on her sick bed, has taught me so much about perseverance and patience. She has seen through all my good and bad, ugly and beautiful, ambitious and appetant life! I wish I could spend some more long conversation, sitting down folding 'tinggat' bond moment with her. As dad said, there is always an end to something started. Hobbit and I only have one wish -- that little baby Hobb will at least get to see great Nini.
As of now, love and prayers are urgently needed for her to press on while she can. Like what Nini told her adopted grandson, Meldy, "I am tired now and I want to rest in God." Coming from a strong, couragous and full of life 94 years old woman. I am sure it will be a beautiful ending for her and I should proudly say Amen to that.
"Nini, you're our strong pillar of faith, hope and love."