Thursday, October 15, 2009

Bible Jokes

God gave us the Bible not only to tell us that He loves us but also to remind us to have a good laugh no matter how tough life gets. :)

Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. used rv for sale

Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out little prophet.

What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
Ruth-less.

Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
Nebuchadnezzar. He was on grass for seven years.

What did Eve ask Adam during their first argument?
"Adam, is there another woman?"

At what time of day was Adam created?
A little before Eve.

Did Eve never have a date with Adam?
No, it was an apple.

Where is the first math problem mentioned in the Bible?
In Genesis, when God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply.

Why on Noah's ark couldn't they eat apples?
Because they only came in pears

On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows on-board. What did he get from the ducks?
Quackers

Which animal on Noah's Ark had the highest level of intelligence?
The Giraffe

When was the first meat mentioned in the Bible?
When Noah took Ham into the ark.

Why did Noah have to punish and discipline the chickens on the Ark?
Because they were using "fowl" language.

How many people went on board the Ark before Noah?
Three, because it says "... and Noah went forth"

Lot's last words to his wife?
...Honey, is someone following

Why was a woman in the Bible turned into a pillar of salt?
Because she was dissatisfied with her Lot.

Why should we all be encouraged by the story of Jonah and the whale?
Because, Jonah was down in the mouth, but came out all right.

Why was everyone in Biblical times so poor?
Because there was only one Job!..

How long did Cain dislike his brother?
As long as he was Abel.

1 comment:

Miss E said...

lol! never thought there are jokes from the bible. how are u, aims?

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